Maybe don't refer to it as Sandra's argument, but as her experience. I've also worked in tech for many years, and while structural change is needed, individuals still find themselves trapped in the pragmatic situation in which they are. (Algorithms exist IRL as well as online. Some might say they are the original.) You have to solve the problem that's in front of you, as they say. It's a bit like when people go after 'entitled mothers.' Yes, some mothers are entitled and spoiled, but in the USA, the vast majority are under the onus of expectations while receiving very few actual 'entitlements.' Moms make on average 52 cents on the dollar, are not entitled to maternity healthcare (in fact, the USA has the highest maternal mortality rate of any developed country), to healthcare for them or their child, to any legal aid to ensure a partner who may have helped make the kid must contribute, to childcare, etc. If this were a company following the 'Toyota way,' the structure would be under consideration, not the individual. Unfortunately, as in tech, that's rather difficult to do unless management is on board, and it impacts Sandra, for example. She may choose to have kids, or not, and that will mean she either reduces paid workload or takes on her own paid version of a wife, and her bosses will judge her on this binary. My point is, if this is a bit longwinded, Sandra, like many women, is giving advice based on experience to practitioners who will run into similar experiences (most likely - there is more movement backward than forwards here). Maybe you are depressed by the advice because it is a fundamentally unfair structure, and you're right, but I have begun to be more appreciative of this honesty, even if I don't like the idea of what is behind it. I'd like things to be different, and I'd like things to be more equitable for my daughter, but until overall inequality subsides (e.g., more male nurses as well as more lady doctors - and even then, if nurses are undervalued, the structural inequality just shifts framing), advice like this at least adjusts expectations while illustrating the overall (skyrocketing) inequality issue. Basically, give Sandra a break here. I's be surprised if she hadn't tried to bring this up with individual men with mixed success.
