I think about this a lot with some of the stories that friends and I find ourselves enjoying as guilty pleasures. Despite reading a lot of this when we were younger, as older 'nag hags' submerged in day-to-day life, we gravitate towards what the Dopamine Nation author (Dr. Anna Lembke, Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic) calls the 'romance addiction.' We like these formulaic books/series/stories for the stability and fantasy - we are so frustrated with our (perceived) lack of influence and resources (mostly time/money/attention from and for others) that we like pretending we live in a world that values us as special for a little and where we don't have to do the majority of the caretaking alone (many of these fantasies include some sort of supportive community or, in really bad ones like the Regency types, servants, which is a whole 'nother issue) 'just because.' So we watch our little fantasies and read our little wattpad novels and shape our fantasy worlds to counteract our (again perceived) reality, which is one in which we are systemically treated/seen as overworked and kind of annoying ('nag hag') background support, easily discarded and generally undervalued because our personal stories are rather uninteresting and predictable and the work we do (laundry, childrearing, cooking, cleaning) is boring (and it very much is...). It bothers me, but I actually do like being a 'nag hag' - being a mom first, a wife, a professional who accepts contracts that provide flexibility rather than 'advancement,' etc. (though I still consider myself a femininst - everybody should get to choose and swap their social algorithms in real life and online.) I just think that these are the tradeoffs I can most effectively make if I want to prioritize my role as a caretaker (which I do because I truly believe the 'nag hags' are more valuable and maybe more wise in ways that I want to value.) I think a lot about Le Guin and Shirley Jackson and the various times they (rarely) discussed balancing a fulfilling creative career and inner world with caretaking. I don't know how they did it. I'm always putting paid work ahead of any creative work on my part - I couldn't afford not to (at least, not easily, and I'm tired, but still in a better position than most.) And then when I have a bit of free time, I'm not always immediately filling it with big thoughts - I'll go for a silly comedy just to relax. It's kind of sad - we're deprived of storytellers who can thread that needle because it is hard to thread, and Jackson and Le Guin were some of the greats who managed (and they still get under-reported in the annals of history.)